Man with the Golden Gun

Man with the Golden Gun

Man with the Golden Gun hurts.  That's probably the best way to put it.  Roger Moore's second outing as James Bond isn't awful (though there is a lot that is awful in it), but it should have been so much better.  There is so much potential here.  It could have - no, it should have been one of the great films of the franchise.  But unfortunately, it just doesn't come together.

That fact also makes Man with the Golden Gun a bit hard to review because so much of the film veers from good to bad and then back again (sometimes within the same scene).  This extends even to the plot.  Francisco Scaramanga is the world's greatest assassin, who uses a golden gun as his weapon of choice.  He charges $1 million a shot - which is all he ever needs to get the job done.  And it seems as if he has now set his sites on James Bond, sending a golden bullet to MI6 headquarters as a warning that he is targeting the British super spy.  Now Bond has to find out why before he is assassinated. That's an interesting plot, and not the type of story you ordinarily see in a Bond film.  Unfortunately, there is also a nonsense storyline about Scaramanga's solar powered super laser weapon that he plans to sell off to the highest bidder, a story device that is obviously shoehorned in because the studio wanted the villain's plan to be more grand while also taking advantage of the energy crisis impacting most of the world at that time.  The laser weapon is silly, and doesn't make any sense - Scaramanga is an isolated, refined man who does not like attention.  He prides himself on his secrecy.  So the fact that he is also a mad scientist who has created a laser weapon which he plans to very publicly auction off to the world's countries just doesn't make a lick of sense.

The film wastes a lot of time on this storyline - time that would have been better spent developing one of the major ideas of the film - that Bond and Scaramanga are two sides of the same coin.  A slight nudge in either direction, and you could easily believe that Bond and Scaramanga could be on the same side.  Bond is also the only man Scaramanga respects and perhaps even fears.  And this invigorates him; indeed the thought of competing against Bond is the only thing that breaks Scaramanga out of his quiet, stiff upper class stoicism.  It's a fascinating character dynamic...which sounds a whole lot more interesting in this paragraph than in the movie because the movie doesn't go there.   It certainly HINTS at it, and acknowledges it once with one short dialogue exchange at the end, but it never does anything with it.  Such potential wasted!

Unfortunately, the whole movie plays this way.  You have one of the very worst Bond girls in Britt Ekland's inept Miss Goodnight and one of the most intriguing in Maud Adams' Andrea.  You have some dark encounters (like Bond's separate interrogations of Scaramanga's arms dealer and Andrea) and some bizarre elements (like Scaramanga's flying car and fun-house death trap).  Bond films can be gritty and they can be absurd.  I don't think I've seen one that tries to mix the two like this, forcing the film into two tones that are completely at odds with each other.  So the movie as a whole just never really works.

I know this all sounds bad.  But I have to stress that there is a lot to like here, and it is definitely worth seeing because the elements that work are quite good.  Scaramanga and Bond's cat and mouse game is excellent, Andrea's storyline gives us one of the better twists of the entire franchise, and we even get a random and quite bad karate scene which is obviously in the movie to cash in on the martial arts craze sweeping theaters and doesn't make a lick of sense, but still manages to be entertaining at the same time.  And I of course need to mention the acting of Christopher Lee and Roger Moore, who play off each other really well.  Lee, who was a cousin of Ian Fleming, makes a superb Scaramanga. He is every bit Bond's equal and the fact that he is not James Bond's greatest enemy has nothing to do with Christopher Lee's performance and everything to do with bad storytelling!  

The movie also manages to do one other thing quite well.  Live and Let Die is a better film, but it can't survive the presence of Sheriff J.W. Pepper who drags the entire film down with him.  Well, J.W. Pepper was so inexplicably popular (WHY?!?!?!??!) that they brought him back for Man with the Golden Gun.  He is conveniently vacationing in Thailand and bumps into Bond during a car chase.  And once again he is the worst thing about the movie.  But Man with the Golden Gun pulls off the impossible; it survives his presence.

And that is pretty remarkable.


RANKINGS
It's interesting.  I put this film right up next to Live and Let Die, which is almost its polar opposite.  Live and Let Die, when you think about it, is pretty stupid, but it works for long stretches. Whereas Man with the Golden Gun should be so good, and just continues to let you down throughout the film's runtime.  But the film's potential and its good qualities are too intriguing for me put it too far down on the list.  I'd put it right in the middle, under Live and Let Die and above Diamonds are Forever.

So here are the rankings:

1. Thunderball
2. From Russia With Love
3. Goldfinger
4. Dr. No
5. Live and Let Die
6. Man with the Golden Gun
7. Diamonds are Forever
8. On Her Majesty's Secret Service
9. You Only Live Twice

BEST LINE: 

James Bond: I mean, sir, who would pay a million dollars to have me killed?
M: Jealous husbands!  Outraged chefs!  Humiliated tailors!  The list is endless!

TRIVIA: 
Man with the Golden Gun is important for another reason.  It was the last film co-produced by Harry Saltzman.  Saltzman and Broccoli's relationship had been souring over the course of the production and by the end of it, Saltzman (saddled with mounting debts) was forced to sell his stake in the franchise.  Among the many disagreements between Saltzman and Broccoli was whether or not to include a scene featuring an elephant stampede.  Broccoli and the production staff balked, but Saltzman continued looking into it.  He discovered in his research that elephants require a specific type of shoe for their feet when they are running on hard surfaces.

Months later, while filming in Thailand, Broccoli got a call that his 2,600 pairs of elephant shoes were ready (!!!).  Saltzman apparently ordered them, thinking he'd be able to convince everyone to include the scene.  When that didn't happen, I suppose he forgot to cancel the order.  Broccoli was incensed and refused to pay the shoemaker.  So far as I know, I don't think Eon has paid him back even to this day.


MVP:

I know you expect me to go with Christopher Lee.  And while Lee is terrific actor (and has won my MVP award in the past), he is not in serious contention for the award in Man with the Golden Gun.  Nope, the choice is really easy for this one.  I present you with this YouTube clip.  Be warned, you may want to consider watching this with no sound because the dialogue and corkscrew effect almost ruin what is...The. Greatest. Car. Stunt. Ever.

Yep, no special effects there.  That is a real car with a real driver in the first stunt ever conceived with a computer program.  The stunt team wasn't sure if it was even going to work.  They unbelievably got the stunt right on the first try.  When the director suggested they get a second take, the crew absolutely refused.

Shame about that damn corkscrew sound...still, that stunt gets my MVP!

Live and Let Die

Live and Let Die

With Diamonds are Forever a huge success at the box office, Cubby Broccoli and Harry Saltzman must have felt the franchise was back on track.  But just like that - Sean Connery declined to return and the producers found themselves once again trying to recast the iconic role of James Bond.  I can imagine there must have been a lot of pressure to find the right person - after all, last time they had gone through this process they had ended up with Lazenby!  Luckily, this time they went for the right actor - Roger Moore, known to audiences at the time from the TV show, The Saint.

Roger Moore catches a lot of heat from people these days.  They point to the films under his watch as among the worst of the series, accusing them of being silly, indulgent and representative of everything bad about the franchise.  I think people just forget what decade we were in.  These were the funky 1970s.  I also think that people who don't like the absurdity of the Moore years conveniently forget that the run of self-referential craziness did not begin with Moore, but with Connery in Diamonds are Forever (some would even argue that it started with You Only Live Twice, but I disagree with that.  You Only Live Twice thinks its being awesome.  Diamonds are Forever is in on the joke and is laughing with you. There's a BIG difference).   Roger Moore's films were also always in on the joke, with the star continuously winking at the audience in between gunshots and martinis, and trusting that the audience was winking back.  And I would argue that Roger Moore was absolutely the right man for the job.

When George Lazenby left the role after On Her Majesty's Secret Service, he said that Bond had no place in the 1970s.  And to his credit, he was right.  The Bond of the 1960s - the last gasp of British superiority in the wake of their Empire's breakup - would have quickly become archaic in the new decade.  What Lazenby (and many critics of the day) did not expect is that Bond could adapt with the times, continually re-inventing himself - sure, the franchise would shamelessly take advantage of the hot topics and fashions of the day, and while that has dated some of the films, it has also contributed to the franchise's longevity.

The hot genre of the early 1970s was blaxploitation, and Live and Let Die jumps right into the pool, trying to cash in on the same vibe that brought Shaft and Superfly box office glory.  The film is full of the archetypes and cliches that fill blaxploitation films, including even a plot about drug trafficking - hardly a scheme that should merit the attention of a super spy who is used to battling megalomaniac super villains.  In Live and Let Die, Bond is going up against strange group of villains, including a voodoo dancer/assassin Baron Samedi (Geoffrey Holder) and drug dealer Kananga (Yaphet Kotto). Kotto also uses a tarot card reader Solitaire to help him identify and kill his enemies - given that this beautiful psychic is played by the radiant Jane Seymour, it's a sure thing that Bond will be interested in, uh, getting a psychic reading himself.

There is actually quite a lot to like in Live and Let Die.  The blaxploitation stuff is ridiculous and dated, but is also so bizarre that it is more funny than offensive (for example, the bad guys drive a "pimp-mobile").  Director Guy Hamilton (Goldfinger) is back in the director's chair and pushes the film along at a nice clip, with some marvelous set pieces - a terrific car chase with a shoddy old bus, an awesome way to dispose of poisonous snakes, and a scene where Bond is trapped on a small island surrounded by alligators.  The villains are acceptable, if not up to the standards of the Connery era (Red Grant, Oddjob, and Fiona Volpe will never be topped).  Most importantly, Eon Productions had now found a worthy replacement in the lead.  Roger Moore makes a great debut in the role.  He certainly was not as physical or dangerous as Connery, and perhaps he knew how to throw a punchline better than a punch, but that is exactly what is needed in this film.  And I also think the music merits a special mention - the title song was written by Paul McCartney, and it easily ranks as one of the series' best.

The movie certainly has its share of misses in the first 2/3 of the film, but it also hits just as much. Unfortunately, at the two-thirds mark, it all falls apart.  In the middle of what should be an exciting boat chase, we are introduced to the comic relief, actor Clifton James as Sherif J.W. Pepper - a character so annoying and ridiculous that he drags the entire film down with his bloated stupidity. That audiences enjoyed this character is beyond me, but apparently they did.  If anyone needs proof that drugs were too readily available during the 1970s - that's your proof.

Ultimately, Pepper is not in the film for that long, but the movie never recovers.  The rest of the film, featuring Bond's rescue of Solitaire and his final fight with Kananga, is kind of blah - it's almost like Pepper sucked all the energy out of the production, and the rest of the cast and crew are just going through the motions, trying to finish the film as quickly as possible so they can all go home and shower off the tainted odor Pepper has left on them.  Ugh, I hate that character so much.

So in the end, what can I say?  If you could only see one film in the Bond franchise, this would not be it.  It wouldn't even be close.  But there is a lot to enjoy about the film, featuring a rocking main song, one of the most beautiful Bond girls, and a worthy debut for Roger Moore.

RANKINGS:

This is a tough one. In a way, Live and Let Die and Diamonds are Forever have a lot in common. Both have many of the same problems and strengths.  But ultimately, I think Live and Let Die is a stronger film.  It has a more clear voice and handles the balance between the serious and absurd with much more grace.  They run close in the ratings, but I think I am going to tip the balance in Live and Let Die's favor.

So the rankings so like this:

1. Thunderball
2. From Russia With Love
3. Goldfinger
4. Dr. No
5. Live and Let Die
6. Diamonds are Forever
7. On Her Majesty's Secret Service
8. You Only Live Twice


BEST LINE:

Hamilton: Whose funeral is this? 
Old man: Yours.

What a fun scene!

TRIVIA:

Kananga was named after Ross Kananga who worked on the film to help with the alligator scenes.  He was the owner of the alligator farm used in one of the more memorable sequences in the movie (and that sign in the movie, "Warning: Trespassers will be eaten!" is really on his front gate).  He also performed the big stunt in the film when Bond jumps across the backs of the alligators to escape.  The producers liked Ross so much that they decided to rename the villain of the film in his honor.

MVP:

So this one is tough.  There are three serious contenders.  Do I go with Roger Moore who showed that someone else other than Connery could succeed at playing James Bond?

Or do I go with Jane Seymour? Because its Jane Seymour.  Solitaire, while she isn't the most assertive or tough Bond girl, is an interesting character.  And plus, she has that delectable English accent.  And it's Jane Seymour!  I mean, look at her!

But in the end, the winner isn't Moore or Seymour.  If there is one thing about this movie that truly elevates it, it's that main title song by Paul McCartney.  Apparently, the song was so expensive that it ate up the entire music budget, which is why there is no real film score.  John Barry was missed, though the instrumental variations on the title song admirably fill in.  The song "Live and Let Die" was a big hit, and was the first Bond song to be nominated for an Oscar (ultimately losing to "The Way We Were" by Marvin Hamlisch).  This song is amazing, and is the perfect piece of rock music to usher Bond into a new era.  It's the most memorable and badass thing about this film.  So it has to win the MVP.

Diamonds are Forever

Diamonds are Forever

Eon Productions was in a weird spot.  Even though its box office did not live up to the dizzying heights of the Connery era, On Her Majesty's Secret Service was still a success and producers Broccoli and Saltzman had planned to continue the series with George Lazenby as Bond.  But as the 1970s started, Lazenby thought the wind was heading in a different direction, and that Bond was an archaic, violent brute who had no place in the changing world.  So he gave up the role (which he has since admitted was not the best idea in the world).  And once again, Eon had to look for a new Bond. They considered Burt Reynolds (Deliverance), Adam West (the Batman TV show) and Michael Gambon (Dumbledore in the last few Harry Potter films), and even hired American John Gavin (Spartacus) at one point.  The studio, United Artists, was understandably uneasy.  Maybe the franchise really was becoming outdated. Maybe they had all taken it as far as it could reasonably go. To hedge their bets, they wanted Sean Connery back and applied pressure on Broccoli and Saltzman to get it done...no matter what the cost.

The news exploded like wildfire.  The original Bond was coming back to save the day.  But he didn't come cheap.  His salary was a then record 1.25 million pounds (most of which he donated to the Scottish International Educational Trust).  For a director, the producers turned to Guy Hamilton, who had guided the franchise to one of its greatest successes with Goldfinger.  But even with the return of Connery and Hamilton, the final result was a bit of a mixed bag.  Critics didn't seem to like Diamonds Are Forever all that much, and history has been even more unkind to it.  It is routinely ranked among the worst of the franchise, and easily as the worst under Connery's watch.  But is it really that bad?

I guess it depends on who you ask.  The plot is certainly a bit thin.  Bond goes undercover as a diamond smuggler, only to discover his nemesis Blofeld is using the diamonds to create another super laser weapon with which he will hold the world hostage (because super laser weapons obviously need diamonds to function properly).  But there are worse plots in the series, so that's not really worth complaining about.  I think critics didn't like Diamonds are Forever because it is so bizarre.  After the deadly serious ending of On Her Majesty's Secret Service, Eon seems to have gone too far in the other direction.  And make no mistake, the camp and absurdity of the Roger Moore era really pales in comparison to some of the shenanigans going on here.  And the fact that the franchise went from being a serious spy thriller in 1961 to featuring over-the-top moon buggy chases less than 10 years later must have driven critics crazy!

But I kinda dig it!  There is a bizarre charm to Diamonds are Forever that I appreciate.  But more on that in minute...

...because there are some really bad things about this film that it is only fair to mention.  Much of the humor is forced, the movie drags in some places, the gadgets are among the worst (a mousetrap gun holster?!?!), the climax of the film, a battle on an oil platform, is shockingly bad.  From the moment Bond arrives at the platform, walking across the ocean in a giant inflatable ball (you read that right), until the end credits, the film is almost unwatchable.  And how did SPECTRE, whose previous base was a volcano, for crying out loud, get reduced to hiding out on an oil rig??

I also realized something about the franchise - Blofeld is actually not a very good villain.  When he was mysterious and off-camera, he was menacing and terrifying, but as soon as they revealed him in You Only Live Twice, he ceased to be scary or even a worthy opponent for Bond.  Donald Pleasance and Telly Savalas were not very memorable in their takes on the role, and Charles Gray, who plays Blofeld here, is the worst, least threatening Blofeld of them all.  What a waste of a nemesis!

But there is also lot of good stuff in here, as well!  Connery returns and immediately erases all memories of Lazenby.  John Barry delivers yet another superb score, showing that he was not running short of ideas even seven movies in.  Bond girl Jill St. John does a fine job, though her character runs out of things to do fairly quickly.  There is an excellent car chase in a Vegas parking lot and an excellent, brutal fight in an elevator.  And a lot of the aforementioned weirdness just...works.  So, you may ask why I enjoy the camp in Diamonds are Forever and yet loathe You Only Live Twice.  The reason is one of intention - You Only Live Twice thought it was being just as cool as the other films in the franchise, whereas Diamonds are Forever knows exactly what it is: an over-the-top, absurd mess. Just look at the strangeness in this movie - strange henchmen/lovers, Mr. Kidd and Mr. Wint, Blofeld running around in drag, Bambi and Thumper, swimming pool fight scenes, that moon buggy chase...a moon buggy chase?!  This is bizarre stuff and once I understood the strange nature of the roller coaster ride Hamilton put me on, I just sat back and enjoyed the ride.  Is Diamonds are Forever good? Maybe. But probably not.  But it certainly fun, and I think it deserves a second look.


RANKINGS:

So film history has decided that Diamonds are Forever should be near the bottom of the list, but I think it there is too much fun stuff to relegate it there.  It is certainly far below the Dr. No, From Russia with Love, Goldfinger and Thunderball.  But I'd certainly rank it higher than On Her Majesty's Secret Service and You Only Live Twice.  I think it will fall very comfortably in the middle.

1. Thunderball
2. From Russia with Love
3. Goldfinger
4. Dr. No
5. Diamonds are Forever
6. On Her Majesty's Secret Service
7. You Only Live Twice

MVP:

So this should show you how awesome Sean Connery is.  Diamonds are Forever is not even close to his best performance as Bond.  He is starting to look a bit old and uninterested.  There are scenes where I can just tell he doesn't want to be there (especially in the end).  And you know what?  It doesn't matter.  Because it's Sean Connery playing James Bond and he's just awesome at it, plain and simple.  He just elevates the movie, playing the comedy and the danger with equal panache.  It should tell you something that Connery is not even in peak form and he's still the best thing about the movie and the clear MVP!

BEST LINE:

James Bond: Weren't you a blonde when I came in?
Tiffany Case: Could be.
James Bond: I tend to notice little things like that - whether a girl is blonde or brunette.
Tiffany Case: Which do you prefer?
James Bond: Well, as long as the collar and cuffs match...

TRIVIA:

The original plot involved Auric Goldfinger's twin brother (also played by Gert Frobe) on a mission to avenge his brother's death.  That would have been...not good.

Goldfinger

Goldfinger
Goldfinger has quite the reputation.  If Dr. No introduced the icon, and From Russia With Love showed what the character could really do, then Goldfinger is when lightning struck and the Bond formula was solidified.  Goldfinger is considered the quintessential Bond film.

It is hard to argue with that assessment.  If the previous films introduced pieces of the Bond formula, they all truly come together perfectly in this third film of the franchise.  It is in Goldfinger that the villains go over-the-top, and where we are introduced to the truly outlandish gadgets from Q Branch (the briefcase in From Russia With Love is too realistic!  It doesn't count.).  It is also Goldfinger where Bond's pun-ful sense of humor goes from an occasional aside to self-aware silliness ("Shocking," he says, after electrocuting an assassin to death).  And Goldfinger is when we have the sequence that perfectly incapsulates the Bond character.  In the opening scene, Bond dressed in an all black wetsuit swims into a harbor to complete a mission.  Once finished, he unzips the wetsuit to reveal a perfectly tailored tuxedo on underneath.  He proceeds to go into a bar to drink and ogle belly dancers.  If that sequence of events doesn't describe Bond in a nutshell, I don't know else could!

This time Bond is on the trail of Auric Goldfinger, an incredibly rich gold smuggler who plans to contaminate the U.S. gold supply in Fort Knox in order to increase the value of his own holdings.  The plot doesn't sound like much, especially compared to the world endangering plots of the other Connery films, but Goldfinger is a lot of fun.  In fact, that is probably Goldfinger's greatest strength - fun.  The previous films are much more serious, and it is Goldfinger where the franchise fully embraces its silliness.  A car with an ejector seat?  A villainous henchman with a steel-rimmed hat that he basically uses as a deadly frisbee to kill his victims?  Come on, that's silly stuff.  But wow, it is entertaining!  And unlike later films, the absurd elements are perfectly balanced with the serious secret agent adventure.  Goldfinger is the film future Bond directors should watch to see how to interweave what should have been two competing tones.  Even the character of Bond seems to be in on the joke now.  Connery plays the character like someone who works as a suave super spy as a lark. Quite simply, he loves his work.  This is a key character trait that you don't quite get in the earlier movies.  Goldfinger also has a lot of my favorite moments of the franchise.  His Aston Martin is easily my favorite Bond car.  The aforementioned henchman, Oddjob, is a personal favorite of mine, and I love the final fight between him and Bond.  Even the gray three-piece suit Connery wears is my favorite Bond suit.  Simply put, Goldfinger really is the quintessential Bond film. It is the pinnacle which every film that followed judged itself by.

So why isn't it my favorite Bond film?  It used to be my favorite when I was younger, but it has slid down a little bit in the rankings.  Just because the film best represents the Bond formula doesn't make it the best film.  There are things that have really begun to grate over the years.  BIG SPOILERS AHEAD.  Why does Goldfinger proceed to tell the American gangsters his master plan as if he wants to recruit them, only to kill them all?  Huh?  I used to laugh that off.  Maybe now I am just old and cynical, but this bothers me now.  How did the entire army division guarding Fort Knox, as well as the thousands and thousands of people who live in the area effectively coordinate to simultaneously fall down and play "dead" in order to trick Auric Goldfinger during the movie's climax?  This really doesn't make a lot of sense.  The way Bond is first captured is ridiculous, and is a completely uncool way to destroy of such a great car.  And the way Bond convinces Pussy Galore to turn on Goldfinger is just uncomfortable and a bit rapey to me.

This may sound like nitpicks, but the more you watch the film, the more these things will bother you. They certainly bother me, and they knock the film down enough points to keep it from being number 1 on my list.  But in the end, it doesn't change the fact that Goldfinger really a great film.  The direction from Guy Hamilton, filling in for Terence Young, is terrific.  Connery is at his best.  Gert Frobe is a great over-the-top villain, and Harold Sakata is brilliant as his henchman Oddjob.  So far as Bond Girls go, I thought Honor Blackman was solid as Pussy Galore.  She is one of the better actresses of the Connery era, though I feel they could have done much more with the character.  The title song and the score are both superb, with the former staking a valid claim as the best Bond song ever (for me, it is a tie between this and "Live and Let Die").  All in all, it's a great movie and possibly the single most important, defining film of the franchise.    

RANKINGS:

As I mentioned, a couple of years ago, Goldfinger was firmly in the #1 spot.  But those nitpicks knock it back.  And I have grown very fond of the steely professionalism that is on display in From Russia With Love.

1. From Russia With Love
2. Goldfinger
3. Dr. No

BEST LINE:
You have to go with the classic on this one.  Other than "Bond, James Bond," this exchange has to be the most iconic of the entire franchise.

Bond: Do you expect me to talk?

Goldfinger: No, Mr. Bond.  I expect you to die. 

MVP:
Now this is really difficult.  I almost want to say John Barry, the Oscar-winning composer who wrote the fantastic title song and composed one of his most memorable scores.  But I think I am going to have to fall back to Connery, who delivers his most assured performance as Bond in this film.  He was terrific before, but the line between actor and character vanish in this film.  It's such a charismatic performance that you simply can't look away.  Connery gets my MVP.

TRIVIA: 
When Shirley Bassey recorded the theme song, she sang as she watched the opening credits of the film, to make sure her vocals were matching the images.  When she hit her final high note, the credits...kept going...and going...and going, and Bassey was forced to hold that high note.  She made it to the end, but almost passed out in the process!