The Tourist

The Tourist

I was actually excited about The Tourist. The teaming of Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp in a Hitchcockian light-hearted romp through Venice seemed appealing. Then the movie came out to middling and bored reviews, and my enthusiasm waned. But with one of my favorite cities in the world, Venice, being featured prominently, I knew it was just a matter of time before I saw it-for better or worse.

Alexander Pierce is a mysterious fugitive who has stolen a massive amount of money from a gangster and is also wanted by the British authorities (led by Paul Bettany from A Beautiful Mind and a former James Bond, Timothy Dalton) because he owes $744 million in back taxes to England. Pierce’s lover Elise (Angelina Jolie) is told to throw the hunters off his scent by picking a random shlub on the train to Venice and showering him with attention so that the police and the gangsters will suspect him, taking the heat off the real Alexander Pierce. The poor shlub just happens to be Frank (Johnny Depp), a boring math teacher who is visiting Italy. What is supposed to follow is a fun, sexy romp of mistaken identity, thrilling escapes from bad guys and heated chemistry between Elise and Frank.

The problem is, frankly, the movie is kind of boring. Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp never quite work the screen like you want – the problem is the movie doesn’t know what it wants. They have two choices. 1) They can follow the storyline and have the hapless innocent, slightly dull, fish out of water being wooed by a women waaayyy out of his league – in this case, your chemistry should be forced because that is where you get the drama (and the humor). Or 2) the other option is to forget realism and go straight for Hollywood hotness. Who cares if he is playing a boring math teacher; this is Johnny Depp, one of the sexiest men in the world. And he is sharing the screen with one of the sexiest women in the world. Let them smolder! You can go either direction and be effective, but the problem with The Tourist is that they want it both ways and that just can’t work. The movie probably works best when they let Depp play bumbling. His terrified dash into the bathroom when he is first attacked by the Russian gangsters is a funny scene and provided the proper vibe that the whole movie should have had. Instead, the movie's tone wobbles all over the place, with some scenes played for broad laughs and others seemingly deadly serious. The movie is also burdened with a few twists that are in the movie just for the sake of having a twist. The big twist is clearly just there for effect and makes absolutely no sense when you consider the rest of the movie. It is one of the more poorly conceived twists I have seen in a long, long time.

It’s a pity because the movie could have been fun. It looks great, the supporting cast (which also includes Rufus Sewell from Dark City) is solid, and the Venice scenics are stunning to behold. The director is Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck, who directed the Oscar-winning The Lives of Others and the writers include the awesome scribes Christopher McQuarrie (The Usual Suspects) and Julian Fellowes (Godsford Park). So it really is just a shame the whole thing never quite works. The Tourist desperately wants to be To Catch a Thief, the Hitchcock masterpiece starring Cary Grant and Grace Kelly. Instead, it’s a missed opportunity and a dull one at that.

BEST LINE:

Inspector: "You wish to report a murder?"

Frank: “Attempted murder.”

Police: “That's not so serious.”

Frank: “Not when you downgrade from murder. But when you upgrade it from room service, it's quite serious.”

MVP:

I think I will go with the Director of Photography, the terrific John Seale (Oscar winner for The English Patient). If nothing else, The Tourist is a great looking movie, with terrific use of lighting and composition. When the action on screen wasn’t working for me, I could always switch my brain over and admire Seale's artistry at work. It doesn't hurt that he knows how to capture Venice at her alluring and mysterious best. I think I need to go be a tourist myself...

TRIVIA:

Tom Cruise was originally going to play Frank, but then dropped out. He was replaced by Sam Worthington, who also dropped out due to creative differences. Cruise and Worthington...chose wisely...