Ironclad

Ironclad

People who know me well understand that I have a weakness for 'sword' movies.  It doesn't matter if it is a fantasy or a swashbuckler or an epic; if it has a sword, I am there.  And Ironclad is right up my alley. A sort of adaptation of one of my favorite films, Seven Samurai, Ironclad is a medieval adventure that takes place during the Baron's War in England.  After being forced to sign the Magna Carta, King John decides to bring in an army of barbarian mercenaries and exact revenge on the rebellious barons who dared to defy his authority.  Seven rebels take the strategically vital Rochester Castle, which John needs.  And so you know what that means - time for some awesome siege warfare!

There is a lot of quality in the movie.  First off, I have to give director Jonathan English some credit.  He takes a tiny budget and gives the film more scope and excitement than I would have expected.  The film never looks cheap and that is an accomplishment.  I also generally like the cast, with some seasoned pros like Brian Cox (Troy) , Derek Jacobi (Gladiator), Jason Flemyng (Snatch), and Charles Dance (Game of Thrones) - all taking their turns munching on the scenery.  But the movie really rests on the shoulders of our two main opponents. James Purefoy (Rome) plays Marshal, a Templar Knight recently returned, shell shocked and bitter, from the Crusades.  Meanwhile, the villainous King John is played by Paul Giamatti (Sideways), spewing righteous fury as he tries to retake his kingdom.  Both are truly excellent in their roles and elevate the movie.

All in all, this is all a recipe for a movie I should love. Unfortunately, I didn't.  Despite the movie's strong points, there is just too much I didn't like.  The biggest problem lies with the character of Isabel (Kate Mara from 127 Hours), the young wife of Rochester's master.  When our heroes first arrive, she takes an immediate interest in Marshal, his violent past, and especially his vow of chastity.  And she is just all over him.  This whole story thread is infuriating.  I understand what the filmmakers are trying to do.  They want Isabel to act as Marshal's conscience and show him that life is actually still worth living, if you live it the right way.  Well, this doesn't work.  Instead, she is a complete distraction and just comes across as a bored housewife who wants to bone the new knight in the neighborhood.  Marshal goes about his business, trying to save everyone's lives, and she just follows him around, yammering on about why vows of chastity are lame and killing people is wrong and blah blah blah.  Stop distracting him, you idiot!  The man is trying to fight an army of barbarians who want to kill all of you!  Maybe you should leave him alone and let him do his thing until, I don't know, maybe when the battle is over?!

Unfortunately, this isn't a subplot I can ignore.  It's too large a piece of the movie.  Now, just to be clear, I am not blaming Kate Mara.  She's a fine actress and she does the best she can, but the character is so frustrating that I doubt even Meryl Streep could have saved it.

The battles themselves are also a bit disappointing.  The fighting falls victim to the same over-editing that maligned Quantum of Solace and other recent action films.  This is a trend that filmmakers love to use today in an attempt to make the audience feel like they are part of the chaos.  Well, stop it!  It doesn't work.  No one I know likes it.  It just gives us a headache.  And if we can't see the awesome fighting, then we are aren't going to like it - no matter how awesome it might be.

So there you go.  Overall, Ironclad is diverting enough, I suppose.  It's definitely not as bad as the recent Conan the Barbarian reboot!  There is fun to be had here if you have an afternoon free and feel like some medieval battle fun.  But it should have been a lot better, so overall I can't help but be a bit disappointed overall.


MVP:
It was almost James Purefoy, an actor I have been a fan of ever since I saw him in A Knight's Tale.  I think his work in Rome remains the best Marc Antony ever put on screen.  He carries Ironclad extraordinarily well, despite being dragged down in the Isabel scenes.  Giamatti was also excellent as King John, but overall I thought Purefoy was making more of an impression throughout the first 2/3 of the movie.

But then we got King John's big speech.

Holy cow.  At the 2/3 mark, King John begins to rant and rave about the foolishness of rebellion and the divine right of kings.  It's a good monologue and Giamatti just knocks it out of the park, but then he goes even further, ramping up the delivery to 11.  His voice breaks and explodes, his performance loses complete control, and Giamatti just vanishes.  He's not there.  He is channeling King John himself, furiously venting out 800 years of pent up wrath and vengeance.  It is a monstrous moment, shocking and Oscar worthy.  I don't know what movie Giamatti thought he was acting in, but it certainly wasn't Ironclad.  And whatever movie Giamatti thought he was in...I want to watch that one!   For sending chills up my spine and for genuinely scaring me, I have to give Giamatti the MVP.  That is an easy decision!

BEST LINE:
Marshal: Have you ever killed a man?  It is not a noble thing.  Not even when it is from God.

TRIVIA:
Here's a funny bit of trivia for you.  I have no problem with movies changing history, but I do get concerned when you change history this much.  So this great ol' battle that the good guys win in the movie?  Yeah, well, they didn't win.  They put up a good fight, but they pretty much got their butts kicked.  In fact, King John's generalship at Rochester is actually considered a textbook example of how to effectively conduct a siege operation.  That's taking historical license a bit too far for me!!!

John Carter

John Carter

John Carter is the type of movie that makes me just a little sad.  Though it has performed decently overseas, it was crushed at the box office domestically, and Disney is estimating they are are going to lose $200 million on the film.  The movie is going to be remembered as the big flop of 2012.

And it doesn't deserve it.

I'm not saying John Carter is great.  It's not.  The movie, directed by Andrew Stanton (Finding Nemo), has some real problems and is even a little clumsy in places, especially in the film's opening scenes.  The script is a bit hokey in places, the acting is sometimes hit or miss, and I don't understand why Mars looks like Utah.  But you know what?  It is ten times better than most of these summer sci-fi blockbusters which end up making a bazillion dollars no matter how bad they are.  And that it just a shame.

Because John Carter is the granddaddy of all of them.  In 1912, Edgar Rice Burroughs, who also dreamed up Tarzan, created modern science fiction when he wrote a story about an Virginian cavalry officer who finds himself on Mars, where he has super strength because the gravity makes his human bones more dense.  He is a stranger in a strange land, finds himself siding with the locals against an evil empire and marries a princess.  Sound familiar?  It should, because we've been watching this story all our lives.  Burroughs' work has inspired writers, filmmakers, scientists - men like George Lucas, James Cameron, Ray Bradbury, Frank Frazetta, and Jerry Siegel.  Why wasn't that little fact in the marketing?!  The trailers for John Carter made it look like some lame Star Wars or Avatar clone, when really it is the other way around.

Despite its flaws, John Carter's heart is in the right place.  The film is genuinely exciting in a lot of places, and the comedy is for the most part natural and not forced.  Most importantly, you can tell that the filmmakers are involved not because they want to make a big blockbuster, but because they love the source material.  They are trying to do the classic story justice.   This enthusiasm crosses over to the cast, which includes Taylor Kitsch (Wolverine) as our title hero, Lynn Collins (also from Wolverine) as the Princess Dejah, and a solid supporting troupe that includes Ciaran Hinds (Rome), Polly Walker (Rome), James Purefoy (uh, also Rome), Mark Strong (Sherlock Holmes), Dominic West (300), Thomas Haden Church (Easy A), Samantha Morton (Minority Report), Willem Dafoe (Spiderman) and Bryan Cranston (Drive).

TANGENT: Speaking the casting, I have to address some miscasting.  Dominic West was cast as the villainous ruler Sab Than, while James Purefoy was cast a roguish good guy captain Kantos Kan.  Both are fine actors and put in solid work, but it is clear to me that their roles should have been switched.  Dominic West keeps getting cast as villain because of his dark looks and mean glare, but he doesn't have the true menace needed here to be a worthy evil tyrant of Mars.  One look at Purefoy's Marc Antony in Rome and you will see a glimpse of the charismatic, magnificent asshole-ishness that Sab Than should have had.  Purefoy would have been spectacular.  Instead, he is stuck as the dependable and noble Kantos, who has an unfunny comedic scene late in the movie that borders on embarrassing.   Purefoy just looks out of place, but West could have pulled it off.  More than than, as you can see from his vibrant work in Centurion, West would have owned this scene.  It would have been funny without making the character any less badass.  West would have been superb.  I know this is a small detail, but that simple switch would have made a big difference.  TANGENT OVER.

Anyway, overall, John Carter is a mixed bag.  It has its flaws, but there is a lot to like in it, and I think it is a shame that it got destroyed at the box office when it really isn't that bad.  It deserves better.  I think everyone reading this review should go check it out.  They might be pleasantly surprised.


MVP:  
When he was hired to write the score, Michael Giacchino (Lost) was told to go big, to write "his Star Wars."  And he does.  With some nods to John Barry, John Williams, and Maurice Jarre, Giacchino goes into overdrive, writing a grandiose (if a tad over-used) main theme and a stunning love theme.  His work propels the movie forward and gives the dramatic scenes more emotion than the script sometimes deserves.  It's terrific work.  If the movie had done better, he would have been guaranteed an Oscar nomination.  Alas, I fear that this score will be lost to the mainstream.  But I will do my best to trumpet its cause.  And I will start by giving Giacchino my MVP award!


BEST LINE:
Tars Tarka: When I saw you, I believed it was a sign...that something new could come into this world.


TRIVIA: 
Possibly, this movie has the record for being in 'development hell' for the longest period of time.  The first attempt to make the film was all the way back in 1931.  No one succeeded until now.  That's...over 70 years!!!