Romancing the Stone

Romancing the Stone

Ah, one of the classics of my youth. I hadn't seen this in at least 10 years, if not longer. I was definitely afraid that it wasn't going to hold up very well. Thankfully it does - for the most part.

Often unfairly dismissed as an Indiana Jones knockoff, Romancing the Stone was one of the big hits of 1984, helping launch the career of director Robert Zemeckis (who went on to direct Back to the Future next) and cement the status of Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner as major stars.

Joan Wilder (Kathleen Turner) is a lonely writer of romance novels who receives a mysterious map in the mail. This is followed immediately by a phone call by smugglers Ira (Zack Norman) and Ralph (Danny DeVito) who have kidnapped Joan's sister in Columbia. They will exchange her sister for the map. Next thing she knows, Joan is on a plane to South America, where she runs into bird smuggler and tough guy Jack T. Colton (Michael Douglas). Together, they bicker, argue, run away from bad guys, and try to solve the secrets of the map.

The big difference between Romancing the Stone and the Indiana Jones franchise is that this is a romantic adventure. There are love interests in the Indiana Jones movies, but ultimately the movie is just about him. The one time they do decide to have personal relationship develop throughout a movie, it is between Indy and his father, not a romantic interest. Romancing the Stone, on the other hand, is just as much about these two falling for each other as it is about maps and jewels and danger. It's ancestry is older than Indiana Jones; it probably has more in common with The African Queen.

But please don't misconstrue and think I'm saying Romancing the Stone is better than Indiana Jones. NO WAY. Indiana Jones is timeless. Anyone who thinks Romancing the Stone is timeless is smoking something. The biggest offender is the music score. I normally like Alan Silvestri (who went on to score all of Zemeckis' other movies, including Forrest Gump), but this is some synthesized garbage that was probably already out-of-fashion when the movie came out in 1984. Even the dramatic scenes cannot be taken seriously because of this terrible music - a good lesson that music really can make a huge difference.

But the film is entertaining enough and moves along at a good pace. That the movie works as well as it does is a testament to its two leads - Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner are terrific and have great chemistry. The two made three movies together, but they should have made more. They make quite a pair, whether they are fighting or flirting. It doesn't hurt that Turner looks stunning!

So anyways, is Romancing the Stone a classic? No, but it is a lighthearted and tight little piece of entertainment, bolstered by some great performances and hindered greatly by its 1980-ness.


MVP: Do I go for Michael Douglas' badass Jack T. Colton or for Kathleen Turner's beautiful novelist-in-danger. There's no contest. It's gotta be Kathleen Turner. She carries the whole movie on her shoulders, after all, and puts in better work than you would expect for a little adventure movie. She takes a character who is dependent and whiny, but somehow makes her still likable. I'm not ruining anything to say that her character arc is to eventually have her evolve into strong and independent woman by the end of the film, but Turner plots the course believably. We've all seen this same character arc in dozens of movies, and very few have pulled it off as well as Turner does here. She was awarded with a Golden Globe for her work, and I think it was well-deserved.

TRIVIA: I am willing to admit that maybe Romancing the Stone was greenlit by a studio because of Indiana Jones. But further proof that it is not a knockoff is that the script was written five years before Raiders of the Lost Ark. So there you go...

BEST LINE: Easy. I've been quoting this line my whole life!

Joan Wilder: What's your name?
Jack T. Colton: Jack T. Colton.
Joan Wilder: What's the "T" stand for?
Jack T. Colton: Trustworthy.

OSCAR NOMINATION: Best Editing

Tropic Thunder

Tropic Thunder

I approached Tropic Thunder on video with some hesitance. All too often, I've seen a comedy in the theater and upon watching it a second time, I realize that its really just okay (Wedding Crashers and Knocked Up are good examples). I really enjoyed Tropic Thunder in the theater, but how would it hold up a second time around?

Thankfully, the movie not only holds up well. It might be even better than the first go-around!

Tropic Thunder is about a group of spoiled and annoying actors who are trying to make the most expensive Vietnam war movie ever made. If you haven't seen it, I don't really want to ruin the plot much more than that - but check out the terrific comedic cast you'll be watching: Ben Stiller is Tugg Speedman, a fading action star who is trying to prove his dramatic chops; Robert Downey, Jr. is Kirk Lazarus, the acclaimed Australian actor who takes his method acting too far when he takes the role of the African-American platoon sergeant; Jack Black is the drug-addicted and raunchy comedian Jeff Portnoy; Jay Baruchel plays Kevin, a young hard-working actor trying to make a breakthrough; and Brandon T. Jackson is the rapper Alpa Cino (say it out loud). The platoon is joined by a terrific supporting cast that includes Matthew McConoughy, Nick Nolte, Danny McBride, Steve Coogan, and a surprise guest star I shouldn't ruin.

I should say the less you know about Tropic Thunder the better, but it is definitely more intelligent than you would think. Oh, it has its share of fart and sex jokes - most of them actually not that funny - and it also has a running gag about a previous film made by Speedman, called Simple Jack, that they just push too far. Luckily, even this gag has a great payoff at the end of the film, but it takes a long time to become worth the uncomfortable investment.

Other than that, this movie works equally as a parody of war movies, a post-modern ironic take on movie stars and studios, straight-up action movie, and gross-out comedy. It's a superbly built movie, well-written, and with excellent direction from Stiller (this is easily his best work behind the camera). A subtle, but crucial contribution is made by Oscar-winning John Toll as Director of Photography. Comedies are not supposed to look this good. But Stiller reached out to Toll, the eyes behind Braveheart, Last Samurai, and Thin Red Line, and the result is a lush, colorful, dynamic and EPIC atmosphere. A point most people might not notice unless it is pointed out to them, but a good percentage of Tropic Thunder's success is due to the superb look of the film. I should give some props to Theodore Shapiro, who crafts a score that gets the joke, treats the film as if it were a real war movie, and refuses to play up the comedy. The seriousness of the music makes the ridiculous actions onscreen even better.

The cast all performs to the top of their game. My favorite moments generally come from Robert Downey, Jr. In a role that should have been offensive, he ends up stealing almost every scene he's in. Part of the comedy is that he IS being incredibly offensive and everyone can see that except him. He's so lost in his character, he can't see that what he's doing is so wrong.

Enough said. This movie is a winner, a solid, well-conceived and performed comedic winner. I definitely think you should see it!

MVP: You know, I was trying to decide between Robert Downey, Jr. and John Toll, when I started watching the special features on the DVD. Star, co-writer, and director of the movie, Ben Stiller must have put tremendous amount of time and energy into masterminding this party. Nowhere is this more evident than in one of the DVD features - an entire mag of film is shown from beginning to end, featuring an exchange between Lazarus and Speedman. This is the big dramatic (comically dramatic) scene of the movie and the acting was super intense (comically intense), and watching Stiller incredibly focused and trying to stay in-character while trying to direct the Downey, Jr., keep his eye on the lighting, and pay attention to the million other things that I know happen on a film set...this must have been incredibly difficult! It made my decision clear - for pulling this madcap escapade off, including his directing-writing-starring hat trick, the MVP has to go to Stiller.

TRIVIA: As course, as much as I liked Stiller, there was one thing I felt seemed a bit off. Downey, Jr. is a method actor, so playing one is ironic and funny. There are similar ironic parallels with Jay Baruchel and Jack Black. So to keep that post-modern joke running, I always felt that they should have had a rapper playing Alpa Cino and an action star playing Speedman. Turns out they tried - Mos Def was offered Alpa Cino and the producers were thinking about Sylvestor Stallone or Keanu Reeves for Speedman. That would have been interesting.

Would it have been better, though? I don't know. Maybe not, actually. Stiller and Jackson were pretty terrific!

BEST LINE:

Speedman: I can't believe you people!

Lazarus: Wait! What do you mean "you people"?

Alpa Cino: What do YOU mean, "you people"?

OSCAR NOMINATIONS: Best Supporting Actor (Robert Downey, Jr.)

Battlestar Galactica: The Best and The Worst

WARNING: SPOILER HEAVY. DON'T READ UNLESS YOU'VE SEEN THE SHOW!

What I liked most about Battlestar Galactica is that I truly felt that I had been on a journey with these characters. And like any journey, there are some terrific landmarks and also some potholes. Here are my top ten such moments - good and bad - and in chronological order...

GOOD:

1. Destruction of the Olympus Carrier "33"

Despite constantly jumping and hiding, the fleet continues to be attacked by Cylons every 33 minutes. Adama suspects the civilian ship Olympus of being the reason the fleet keeps getting discovered, and orders it to be destroyed. Despite the pleas of the Olympus captain and their own reservations, Apollo and Starbuck destroy the ship - a clear signal that this would not the campy BSG of old. This moment is when I realized this re-imagining would be something different, a gritty show full of tough decisions. Bless 'em for it.

2. Leoben Tortured and Airlocked "Flesh and Bone"

Probably the best episode to depict a hot bottom political topic - in this case, whether the use of torture is justified or not. Starbuck tortures Cylon Leoben to force him to reveal where he's hidden a bomb in the fleet. "Flesh and Bone" shows both sides of the issue, allowing the viewer to decide what is right and wrong. The episode is also the first time we see President Roslin in scary tough-as-nails mode. Despite promising to let him live, Roslin ruthlessly kills Leoben by inventing what is to become the favorite Galactica mode of execution - airlocking.

3. Apollo's Suicide Run - "Hand of God"

When the fleet is running out of fuel, the crew concocts a crazy scheme to attack the Cylons at an important fuel depot. The estranged Admiral Adama and Apollo have one of their few personal and friendly conversations up to this point - an important step to their eventual understanding of each other. Apollo then proceeds to kick butt in the battle. Seems like a small moment to be in a top ten list, but this episode was key to me. Before it, I thought Apollo was a whiny punk and that the writers didn't know what to do with him. Starting here, I realized that Apollo also didn't know what to do with himself. And to me, that's fascinating television.

4. Time to Re-unite the Fleet - "Home"

With Adama in a coma and Tigh declaring martial law, half the fleet disappears with President Roslin to find the Tomb of Athena. When Adama finally wakes up, he finds the horrible situation and is stung by the betrayals. When he walks onto the CIC, you expect his orders to be either find and arrest the President or to just jump away and abandon the traitors to their fate. Instead, he says simply "it's time to re-unite the fleet." Adama has woken up from his coma a changed man, a wiser man who is less concerned about military vs. civilian jurisdiction and more focused on safeguarding all humanity. This is one of the big cheer moments for me.

5. Pegasus Appears - "Pegasus"

In a show that was low on hope, this was one of the biggest lifts the series ever had. When a large ship suddenly jumps nearby, the Galactica discovers that another Battlestar, The Pegasus, has survived the attack on the Colonies. This is one of the happiest moments on the show and you can't help but be excited for the characters. The fact that you already sense that the Pegasus' commander, Admiral Cain, will upset the delicate balance Adama and Roslin have struck is beside the point. Just let everyone enjoy the newfound sense of hope!

6. Galactica jumps to New Caprica - "Exodus - part 2"

Hands down - the most awe-inspiring and badass moment of the shows' four seasons. With the fate of mankind on the brink under Cylon occupation, the Galactica sets in motion an exciting rescue plan. When the ship freefalls through the atmosphere, letting loose its viper pilots to rain hell on the Cylons below before jumping back into space to take on the Basestars...wow, that was badassery at its finest!

7. Trial of Baltar - "Crossroads - part 2"

Throughout the season, we all got caught up on how evil Baltar was. The dude deserved to be punished! But everything changed when Apollo took the stand at Baltar's trial and delivered a stellar monologue that revealed the bias of both the Galactica crew and the viewers at home. It made us go back and think how we would judge Baltar ourselves, or what decisions would we have made in his place. Maybe we would have ended up committing the same crimes? A lot of people were down on the third season, but I found it to be the most morally complex in a lot of ways.

8. Adama and Roslin Re-unite - "The Hub"

When Roslin and the Basestar disappear, Adama sends the fleet on under the command of Colonel Tigh and sits alone in a raptor, patiently waiting (and hoping against hope) for the president's return. When she finally returns, the two embrace and Roslin finally reveals she loves Adama. Given everything these two have gone through over four years, we were all thinking what Adama ended up saying. "About time."

9. Dee's Suicide "Sometimes a Great Notion"

Upon discovering that Earth was a nuclear wasteland and uninhabitable, the fleet begins to tear apart. What would you do if the only thing keeping you going through this hellish experience was the hope of Earth? What if you were super religious and you realized that all the prophecies you've believed your whole life were lies? Dee was one of the bright lights on the crew - no matter how grim the situation, no matter how desperately close to extinction, she never gave up and continued to be a source of luminescent optimism. So when she casually pulled out the pistol and shot herself in the head, it hurt. It hurt a lot. Dee was one of the characters that deserved a happy ending. This was true tragedy of the highest order.

10. The Mutiny "The Oath," "Blood on the Scales"

Enough is enough! Gaeta and Zarek's revolt almost destroys the entire fleet and gives us the finest arc of season 4.5. There is so much to like in these episodes - from Zarek's ruthless murder of the Quorum to Gaeta's mock-trial of Adama. And perhaps most gratifying? After almost two seasons of acting either completely insane or like a total bitch, we finally get to see Starbuck be super cool again. And it was about time! The most interesting part about the mutiny was that in many ways Gaeta was completely justified in his mutiny - another killer example of the difficult moralities at play in the show.

So those are my favorite moments, but what about...

THE BAD:

1. Everything about Black Market - "Black Market"

Even the cast agrees - this was the worst episode of the show. And half of it makes no sense - Huh? Apollo has been seeing a hooker for the last two years and has a deep attachment to her? Where did that come from? Not only was it out of character, but it completely threw off and contradicted many of the personal relationships that had been building through the first two seasons. And that was only one problem in this horrid episode!

2. Apollo-Starbuck-Dee- Season 2This love triangle was handled incredibly poorly in its early stages. It was frustrating because it was so inconsistent. There was no real development that made sense. Instead, it just seemed like the writers forgot how they had left the relationships in the previous episode and were trying something new. Throw in Apollo's hooker, Anders, Billy, and then Starbuck's tryst with Baltar and I'm just yelling that none of this makes any sense! Kudos to the writers for straightening this mess up in Season 3, where the Apollo-Dee-Starbuck-Anders relationships are actually well-developed and take on true meaning.

3. Admiral Adama's Moustache - Season 3
Such a minor quibble, but it really bothered me! Season 3 started with some of the most intense episodes of the series and I couldn't take anything Adama said seriously because of that silly moustache!
 
4. The concept behind Unfinished Business - "Unfinished Business"

So Adama decides that a good way to settle some old grudges would be to have a boxing match. Because that way people can work out their problems in the ring. I don't know about you, but if some dude I didn't like beat the crap out of me in the ring, I would hold even more of a grudge against him. Though it builds to a nice Starbuck-Apollo moment, this episode was lame. Very lame. 5. What do with Helo? - Season 3

Now that the Helo-Athena-Hera situation was mostly resolved, the writers found themselves in a jam. What can we do with a popular character who wasn't even supposed to make it this far into the show? Even though he was supposedly a pilot, they had Helo running around the ship doing all sorts of stuff - everything except flying, it seemed. The show was turning into 'let's see what job Helo has this week!" At its worst, this indecision resulted in silly episodes like "The Woman King."

6. All Along the Watchtower - "Crossroads - Part 2"

While I thought it was a silly but clever idea to have a rift from the classic song "All Along the Watchtower" as the signal activating the Final Five Cylons, did they really have to end the season with such a crappy cover of the song? This should have been an emotional and dangerous cliffhanger.  The Final Five are revealed. The Cylons have caught up and are about to unleash hell on the battered Colonial fleet. Battle lines are drawn. Starbuck appears back from the dead saying she knows where Earth is. This is all highly dramatic, amazing stuff - and its impact is completely ruined by that shitty cover artist barfing in my ears. The musical lowpoint of the series.

7. Tigh Knocks up Six - Season 4

At first, I thought this was an interesting development. Cylons can't reproduce; that's their whole deal. So when Six gets pregnant, this is a BIG story element. This story arc, going on for several episodes, was going to lead to something big, right? How could it not? Well, it doesn't. Ellen Tigh comes back. She's mean to Caprica. Caprica has a miscarriage. The show proceeds to NEVER mention this subplot ever again. And Tigh is back with Ellen the next episode as if the previous half season never happened. So what the heck was the point?!?!

8. Galen's Kid "A Disquiet Follows My Soul"

So the writers wrote themselves into a big corner. Hera is supposed to be the special baby/chosen one because she is the human-Cylon hybrid. But when Galen was revealed as one of the Final Five, suddenly that means his kid is also a hybrid. Only nobody gave two hoots about this kid. Nobody even thought to mention, "oh, hey, wait a second, there's two half-Cylons walking around." I think the writers completely forgot, too. And in one of the quickest and silliest cover-ups ever, they let Galen discover that he's not the father. Though out of character, Callie had slept with Hot Dog before she married Galen and got pregnant. Upon discovering the news, Galen unceremoniously drops the kid into Hot Dog's lap and says adios. Subplot over. And never mentioned again.

9. Adama's Cry-Painting "Islanded in the Stream of Stars"

So using Cylon biotechnological paint will help seal the cracks in the Galactica's hull. An odd idea, but I went with it. Until Adama walks into a room, starts painting, and then goes ballistic, crying and painting and throwing paint and breaking furniture and crying and painting. I know it was supposed to be one of the more dramatic moments for Adama's character as he realizes his beloved ship isn't going to make it, but I thought the whole thing to be so stagy and over-acted it was almost embarrassing. And I wish I could take credit for the expression "cry-painting." I've read it on a few other blogs and thought it was funny. And when it comes down to it, that phrase really is the only way to truly describe this silly incident.

10. Certain problems with the ending "Daybreak"

A lot of people were underwhelmed with the final episode of Battlestar. I actually thought it was mostly a good and satisfying ending. But there were some MAJOR problems. Like...why did Adama mysteriously leave the fleet never to return? I understand he wanted to be with Roslin during her final moments of life, but is he just going to sit on that hill for the rest of his life? Completely abandoning everyone is really out of character and odd. I also thought Starbuck disappearing was a bit silly and the "angel" talk at the very end to be unnecessary. And what about those unnecessary flashbacks which told us nothing new and simply existed to drag down the momentum of the final battle? Sigh. But what was the worst part? Are we really supposed to believe that the entire human race decides to so cavalierly give up all technology because they want a fresh start? This is profoundly stupid. And the first time someone dies from a simple cold, you better believe there's gonna be a lynch mob coming for Apollo. He better run!

It's doubly silly because it just wasn't necessary. As each generation passes, there would be fewer and fewer people who would know how to use the technology. Equipment would go into disrepair. Over the centuries, it would eventually deteriorate and in over a million years it would definitely disappear. So why the hokey, hippy "let's give up technology!" angle? Definitely the biggest eye-rolling moment of the show.

And this is coming from someone who liked the finale!

So there we go. Sorry this was such a long post. It was fun to write. I'd love to hear what your favorite moments are! Please share!

Battlestar Galactica

Battlestar GalacticaI know this is not a movie, but I just finished watching the show finally, and wanted to write a review. I came late to the BSG party, mostly because I couldn't believe that the network responsible for such shlock as Mansquito (about a half-man, half-mosquito monster) could create a good TV show. Then I tried to watch the miniseries and was pretty uninspired. But I was convinced to give the show another chance, and I'm glad I did. BSG is hands down one of the best science fiction shows to ever grace the small screen.

The non-spoiler synopsis is mankind is on the brink of extinction. After a surprise attack by the enemy Cylons, only maybe 40,000 or so humans are left. A ragtag fleet of ships led by Admiral Adama (Edward James Olmos) and President Laura Roslin (Mary McDonnell) now roam the galaxy, trying to avoid their Cylon pursuers and find a new home - a long lost planet named Earth. He is helped by his son Apollo (Jamie Bamber) and hotshot pilot Starbuck (Katee Sackhoff). This is the same basic plot as the original Battlestar from the late 1970s, but there is nothing silly about the re-invention. This is a Battlestar for the 2000s, a dark and gritty drama that focuses more on characters and ideas than space battles and aliens.

I am definitely not one of the BSG fanatics. There were A LOT of problems on this show - the plot arcs are sometimes clunky. Though they had a clear ending in mind, the producers admitted they had to sort of make parts of the journey up as they went along. This produces an endless stream of plot holes and odd character moments. Sometimes they succeed in covering up the plot holes and sometimes they drop the ball. As good as the dialogue often is, I also felt that they sometimes had trouble handling personal relationships - for example, the big Apollo-Starbuck-Dee love triangle in Season 2 was really poorly done (though I'll give them credit - that triangle really became a helluva lot more interesting in Season 3).

There was also a smattering of bad episodes in every season, usually filler episodes like Season 2's atrocious Black Market. The show could be wildly inconsistent.

But what about the good? For every poorly done personal relationship, there was another that was handled masterfully - Helo and Athena come to mind. The political material was superb, with nary a misstep in all four seasons. With events that often mirrored today's headlines without placing judgment, BSG encouraged viewers to open a dialogue on issues such as torture, abortion, military vs. civilian rights, and even the question of what it means to be alive. The mature handling of such weighty material led to a first - the UNITED NATIONS of all places held a symposium on Battlestar Galactica, inviting the producers and actors to speak to the show's relevance in the today's world. That's a level of respect never achieved by a science fiction show that I know about.

I also greatly admire the daring of the writers. This is not a happy show and over four years, it seemed like things just kept getting gloomier and gloomier. That, combined with some shockingly bleak plot turns, really earns my respect. They also did remarkable work with minor characters - those familiar faces in the background have their own continuity and you find yourself rooting for pilots like Hot Dog and Kat, even though their screen time probably did not exceed more than 45 minutes during the show's entire run.

The whole cast put in the work of their careers. Olmos and McDonnell kept the show on a steady keel. Katee Sackhoff and Tricia Helfer (Number Six) were the fan favorites, but just as good were Grace Park (Boomer), James Callis (Baltar), Tahmoh Penikett (Helo), and...well, shoot, I can't name every cast member. Everyone really does challenging work, pushing their characters to the limits and never embracing caricature (which they easily could have done). I have to give special mention to Jamie Bamber as Apollo. He was my least favorite character in the miniseries. He was whiny and annoying, and I thought he would continue along that route, especially since it seemed like the writers weren't sure what to do with him. I was wrong. Apollo's character arc is superb and Bamber's performance is the true heart of this show.

I don't want to make this review too long. Is Battlestar the best science fiction show ever? No. Star Trek: the Next Generation was way more consistent (especially from the third season onward, when there was hardly a weak episode). BSG is also nowhere near as fun and rewatchable as Joss Whedon's Firefly. But despite the bad episodes, questionable moments, and certain lame plot points, Battlestar made me think. And there were moments that rocked me emotionally to my core more than any show I've watched. Just like mankind whose path it traces, BSG is imperfect and flawed. It's almost a masterpiece.

TRIVIA: The signature "So Say We All" cheer that continues throughout the whole show was ab-libbed by Edward James Olmos in his passionate speech at the end of the miniseries.

MVP: Definitely Ronald Moore, the writer and executive producer (who also worked extensively on Star Trek: the Next Generation). His brainchild, his vision, his MVP award.

NOTE: I tried to keep this spoiler free for people who have not seen the show. I hope it encourages them to Netflix it.

But I know a lot of you are reading the review because you did watch the show. You will be interested in reading my next entry, which is my top ten BSG moments (along with the 5 lamest moments). Check it out HERE!

Tampopo

Tampopo

Huh?

I think this could be the easiest review I've ever written. I can sum up this movie in one sentence.

I don't know what the hell I just watched, but it is pretty awesome.

The concept of the film may sound familiar. Stoic and tough loner rides into town and helps a local widow save her business and fend off the bad guys. Only in Tampopo, the loner rides in not on a horse, but in an 18-wheeler truck, and the widow he helps is running a down-in-the-dumps noodle shop. The bad guys include other noodle cooks and uh, interior decorators. So really what we're getting is the world's first Noodle Western/absurdist gangster comedy/noodle cooking training video.

But the movie is not content with just telling its story. It also decides to interject the tale with about a dozen other unconnected stories - some featuring a Toshiro Mifune-esque white suited gangster, other featuring random characters we've never seen before and will never see again. Do they have anything to do with the movie? Maybe thematically. Maybe not. It's possible the director Juzo Itami just wanted to work in a lot of food gags, and that's the end of it. Either way, it adds to the bizarre nature of Tampopo, and without them the movie really wouldn't work. It needs the gangster yelling in the movie theater about potato chips. It needs the "let's learn how to not slurp our soup" lesson for young polite society ladies (though it probably does NOT need the oyster fishing scene, but I won't go into that). The movie truly is better for these bizarre riffs.

Even better than the comedy is the food! This movie is a foodie's dream. It discusses, examines, theorizes, and even theologizes on everything concerning noodle soup. Sure, this is for comedic effect, but it also takes the quest for the perfect noodle completely seriously at the same time. The food is shot so lovingly and so carefully that your stomach will start growling about halfway in. It is no mistake that Anthony Bourdain, John Farr, ChowHound, and Cinematical all list Tampopo as one of the top five food movies ever. And the esteemed Village Voice says that Tampopo is actually the # 1 food movie ever.

I suppose some people might not like its insane humor. The movie really makes very little sense - I promise you that. I also promise that when the movie ends, you're going to want to eat. A lot.

MVP: Food. Wow, the food looks so good in this movie. From the noodle soup with thin, tender slices of pork to the grilled beef and shallots to the glistening Peking Duck to the rice omelet....FOOD is the MVP!


TRIVIA: Slurping noodles is considered polite in Japan. It is a way to show your appreciation for a good meal to the cook. And knowing this makes the aforementioned slurping scene even more hilarious.


BEST LINE: "No! Keep eating! This is the last meal your mother ever cooked! We're going to eat all of it!"

Appaloosa

Appaloosa

What happened to the Western? Westerns used to be one of the most popular and reliable genres in Hollywood and then it just virtually dropped off the face of the planet. It's strange because in many ways, the Western is America's mythology - cities like Tombstone and Dodge City stand in for Athens or Sparta, while American legends like Jesse James and Billy the Kid are like our Hercules and Theseus. But for whatever reason, new Western films are few and far between.

Unfortunately, films like Appaloosa are not going to help the genre make its comeback. All the pieces of the puzzle are in place, but unfortunately the movie is a beautiful looking bore. When a local rancher Bragg (Jeremy Irons) kills the town marshal, the town of Appaloosa hires famous and tough-as-iron lawmen Cole (Ed Harris) and Hitch (Viggo Mortenson) to restore order and bring Bragg to justice. As if matters aren't complicated enough, a poor piano player named Allie (Renee Zellweger) arrives in town, intent on providing herself with domestic stability no matter the cost.

Harris, who also wrote and directed the film, respects all the rules of the genre, but really focuses on making this a character study. The friendship between Cole and Hitch is wonderfully played and not overly written. They communicate whole conversations just with their facial expressions, and don't waste a lot of time on pointless exposition. But just because Appaloosa is a serious character study doesn't mean it needs to be dull. The movie's pace is dreadful - while I appreciate the effort to not rush and allow us to see the different shades of the characters, it would be nice if something would actually happen every once in awhile. Being realistic and focusing on character development doesn't mean you have to make me sleepy.

The story could also use some work. Here's an example and SPOILER ALERT here: Jeremy Irons' Bragg completely changes character and motivation about 2/3 through the movie for no good reason. And it's all explained away with one line - "I'm now a reformed man." What? When? I never saw that happen. One scene he is the evil rancher yelling for Cole's death and the next scene he is a sophisticated town saloon owner, polite and friendly to everyone. This is accepted by everyone in the movie because well, see, he's a reformed man now. Boo. I expect better.

A lot of critics really seemed to like this movie when it came out. And there is a lot to appreciate. The acting is solid throughout, with Mortenson probably being the highlight. There was some complaining about Zellweger, but I actually think the character was so unlikable that those feelings transferred over to her performance, which I think is pretty good. The period costumes and sets are superb and don't look like a bunch of actors playing dress up on a studio backlot. The city of Appaloosa looks lived in, and that is a great achievement. The cinematography by Dean Semler is terrific (though I would expect no less from the master behind the camera for Dances with Wolves, Lonesome Dove and uh, Nutty Professor 2). With so much to like, it really is a shame that the whole thing doesn't gel together more smoothly. Perhaps with a script polish and a more experienced director behind the reins, this movie could have really moved. Imagine what Walter Hill could have done with this story?

Ah, well. So it's a misfire. A slow, plodding misfire with a lot to admire. Hopefully the studios will look at it as a lesson on how to make the next Western better, instead of proof that they should stop making them at all.


MVP: You know, I wondered who would win this acting battle between two intense heavyweights - Ed Harris and Viggo Mortenson. Their scenes together in A History of Violence were some of the best parts of that movie (with Harris probably slightly winning the duel in that movie). But in Appaloosa, there is no debate. This is Viggo's film. Armed with a kickass massive shotgun and some of the best movie facial hair I've seen in a long time, Viggo's Everett Hitch is a loyal and smart man - probably a bit smarter than his boss. Every nuance Viggo brings to the performance is the right choice - and he manages to make the gunslinger both sensitive and tough at the same time. Good stuff.

TRIVIA: Diane Lane was originally cast as Allie, but had to drop out during pre-production. As I mentioned, I liked Zellweger in the role. But I am a huge fan of Diane Lane so this would have been much preferred. Alas...

BEST LINE: (After an anti-climactic shootout) Hitch: That was quick. Cole: Yeah...cause everyone could shoot."